Who vs Whom: A Simple Way to Determine Which Word to Use

Who vs. Whom is a common grammar challenge that trips up many writers and speakers alike. Understanding when to use who or whom hinges on grasping their roles as subjective pronouns and objective pronouns. This simple distinction helps clear up confusion around these often confusing pronouns and improves your proper grammar usage.

If you’ve ever paused wondering whether to say “Who is calling?” or “Whom did you call?” you’re not alone. By mastering the he vs him trick and recognizing the subject of a sentence versus the object of a sentence, you’ll gain confidence in your writing and speech. Let’s explore easy ways to spot the difference and use these pronouns correctly every time.

What’s the Real Difference Between Who and Whom?

Many people struggle with who and whom grammar because the two words look so similar but they function very differently.

• Who is a subjective pronoun – it does the action.
• Whom is an objective pronoun – it receives the action.

Pronoun Case	Role in Sentence	Example
Who	Subject of a sentence	Who called you?
Whom	Object of a sentence	Whom did you call?

A quick way to remember? Who = he | Whom = him This he vs him trick is your best friend in sorting them out.

When to Use “Who”

Think of “who” as the one doing something. It acts just like he, she, they, or any subject pronoun.

If you can replace the word with he or she, then “who” is the right choice.

Example Scenarios:

• Who is knocking at the door? (He is knocking.)
• I need to know who called this meeting. (She called this meeting.)
• She’s the one who always brings coffee. (He brings coffee.)

Tip to Remember:

If the word is doing something, it’s probably “who.” This is part of understanding subject vs object pronouns in English grammar who whom rules.

When to Use “Whom”

“Whom” plays the role of the receiver. It’s the person something is done to, often following a preposition.

If you can replace the word with him or her, then “whom” is correct.

Example Scenarios:

• Whom are you texting? (You’re texting him.)
• To whom should I address the letter? (To him.)
• She’s the professor whom I admire most. (I admire her.)

This is the correct use of whom, especially when following prepositions like to, for, or with.

A Foolproof Trick: He vs. Him = Who vs. Whom

This is the golden rule. If you’re ever stuck, rephrase the sentence using “he” or “him.”

Test Sentence	Replace Pronoun	Use
___ called the manager?	He called	Who
You gave the papers to ___?	Gave to him	Whom
___ are they inviting to the party?	Inviting him	Whom
___ is in charge of the event?	He is in charge	Who

This easy grammar mnemonic device helps sort out even the most confusing pronouns.

Using “Whom” With Prepositions

If there’s a preposition involved, there’s a good chance you need “whom.”

Common Prepositions That Pair with Whom:

• To
• For
• With
• By
• About

Example:

• The client, for whom I designed the website, was thrilled.

This is a common structure in formal writing and often appears in professional editing services or academic work.

Why “Whom” Often Feels Awkward (and When to Let It Go)

Let’s be real—“whom” can sound overly formal or even outdated in casual speech. That’s why many native speakers skip it entirely.

Example:

• Correct: Whom are you meeting?
• Common in speech: Who are you meeting?

So what’s the deal?

Use “whom” when writing formally or when clarity matters. In emails, resumes, or essays, it adds polish. In casual texts? You won’t get grammar-shamed for using “who.”

Common Grammar Mistakes Involving Who and Whom

Knowing grammar rules for pronouns helps avoid classic errors. Here are a few red flags:

• ❌ Whom do you think you are? ✅ Should be: Who do you think you are?
• ❌ She’s the one whom won the award. ✅ Should be: She’s the one who won the award.

Top Grammar Tips: Who vs. Whom

• Use the he/him test every time you’re unsure.
• Pay attention to sentence structure ask who is doing what to whom.
• Formality matters: use “whom” in professional settings, but “who” is okay in most conversations.
• Look out for prepositions they’re strong clues that “whom” is correct.

Who vs Whom Examples in Real Life

Real-Life Setting	Sentence	Which to Use
Email	To whom it may concern	Whom
Conversation	Who ate the last cookie?	Who
Job Interview Question	Whom have you worked with in the past?	Whom
Social Media Comment	Who else loves this movie?	Who

These examples show how English usage often bends with context. But mastering the difference between who and whom adds clarity and confidence to your writing.

Mini Quiz: Who vs. Whom

Put your knowledge to the test with these quick questions. Choose the correct word.

Sentence	Who or Whom?
___ is responsible for this mess?	Who
To ___ did you give the documents?	Whom
___ are they hiring for the new role?	Whom
___ left their phone on the desk?	Who

FAQs

Final Thoughts on Who vs. Whom

Understanding Who vs. Whom doesn’t have to be hard. Remember the basic rule: use who when talking about the subject, and whom when it’s the object. The he vs him trick makes it even easier. With a little practice, you’ll spot the difference quickly. Don’t worry if you slip up sometimes most people do. Just keep these tips in mind, and your writing will sound clear and confident. Mastering who vs. whom helps you use English more correctly and naturally every day.

Sources

1. Merriam-Webster Dictionary – Who vs. Whom https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/who-vs-whom
2. Grammarly Blog – When to Use Who vs. Whom https://www.grammarly.com/blog/who-vs-whom/
3. Purdue Online Writing Lab (OWL) – Pronoun Case https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/grammar/pronouns/pronoun_case.html
4. The Chicago Manual of Style – Grammar FAQ https://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/qanda/latest.html
5. Cambridge Dictionary – Who or Whom? https://dictionary.cambridge.org/grammar/british-grammar/who-or-whom
6. Oxford English Dictionary – Pronouns Usage https://www.oed.com/